I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
