i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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