Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
