Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
