is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
