The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
