he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
NoShamevember. You game?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
