i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
