But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
