No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
