i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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