Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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