Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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