I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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