So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
