I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
