Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize