my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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