Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
