I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
