wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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