I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
