im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize