on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
