So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize