My underwear smells like fireworks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
