so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
