he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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