The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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