I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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