it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
