the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
