this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
