I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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