boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
