he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
