After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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