just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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