I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize