she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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