this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never joke about your clitoris.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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