Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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