I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
