I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
