He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
