When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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