Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize