a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
