did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
