do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
