I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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