Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
be right there i have to get my cape
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
