You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
