Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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