porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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