I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
