did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
