everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
