if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
