Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
