it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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