I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
