Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
